A Personal Opinion: Getting older.

I’m old.

At least that’s what my son thinks, but I’m not upset. I remember thinking the same thing about my mother when I was his age, which is probably why I don’t get angry at a lot of stuff he does—because I remember. I’ve never looked my age. When Husband and I were first married we went to a wedding and all his friends (some of whom, I was meeting for the first time) kept calling him a cradle robber. They were surprised to learn my real age. I was carded for cigarettes at 25 (you have to be 18), carding for alcohol at 32, and I get looks of shock when I tell people how old I am.

I’m 46, btw.

For years I’ve heard the old mantra ‘You’re only as old as you feel’. I’ve never felt my age, and sometimes it’s hard for me to realize that I am ‘of a certain age’, but every now and then my body lets me know just who is in charge. Like this winter with the onset of hot flashes.

Holy crap! You just have to love those hormones—SAID NO WOMAN EVER!

I remember talking to my doctor about sweating during the night (yeah, we’re not going there), and she said I was too young to be entering menopause, but then I remembered, that was three years ago. Things change and now I have a biological furnace that, I swear, has no thermostat control. This winter was a hard one up here, so we got a heating blanket. Bloody hell, if someone had told me my body would spontaneously ramp up the temperature, I would have pushed to buy everyone new pillows instead. Throw the blanket off and cool down, then pull the blanket back on to warm up, then throw it off again. Last time my temperature was wonky like this, I ended up in the hospital with an appendicitis. My mother’s suggestion of lots of meditation and drink ice water, I found interesting. I should be meditating anyway, but I need those voices in my head to talk to me. I feel sorry for my husband, I really do, because I have no idea what’s next.

50 is the new 30? Bring it on, baby!


About Darke Conteur
Darke Conteur is a writer at the mercy of her Muse. The author of stories in several genres, she prefers to create within the realms Science Fiction and Dark Fantasy. A pagan at heart, her personal goal it to find her balance within nature; exploring the dark through her stories and the light through her beliefs. When not writing or working with crystals, she enjoys knitting, gardening, cooking and very loud music.

6 Responses to A Personal Opinion: Getting older.

  1. Drives me crazy when a doctor states categorically, “You’re too…” pick your own statement here. Why do they refuse to acknowledge that not everyone fits into a box? Some women start having peri-menopause symptoms in their 30’s. In fact, things like weight gain or insomnia can be due to wacky hormones. Not, mind you, that there’s much we can do about it. With all the dangerous side effects of hormone therapy, that’s not a bandwagon you can just jump on.

    There are as many “solutions” to hot flashes and other symptoms as there are women, I think. Just like we all don’t fit into the same box, something that works for me might not work for you. I used a progesterone cream for a few years (just rubbing a bit on my wrists once a day) and that reduced the hot flashes. But progesterone is a form a hormone therapy and I was really leery of it. I stopped using it eventually, even though my symptoms came back.

    I’m really unsure what to think about menopause. On one hand, I believe our bodies are a wonder of the evolutionary process. If we feed them healthful, fresh food and move them a lot (a LOT), then they tend to work quite well. I think we should not be afraid or ashamed of our bodies (all of that is a product of patriarchal puritanism). I’m amazed at the things our bodies can do – the healthy body can fight off most illness, heal itself, make babies, birth babies, feed babies, walk for miles, lift heavy objects… and it can do these things because of hormones. I believe that if we mess with our body’s natural abilities, thinking we need “help” to do things, then we screw up the endocrine system and bring on other problems – like cancer, for instance. Menopause is as natural as any of these things – but why is it so hard for us?

    I think it’s true that our culture has a lot to do with how well our bodies work. Because we’ve had thousands of years of teaching and beliefs that our bodies are “bad” or “dirty,” we’ve instituted practices that make it hard for the body to do what evolution designed it to do. Childbirth is a huge example of this, but I also wonder if menopause is another one. Perhaps our diets or pollution or lack of sufficient movement make it hurt more than it should. Perhaps our western attitudes of “suffer in silence” and “don’t talk about such things” have made us lose the knowledge of how to handle it.

    I don’t know. But I do know that menopause is the entrance into a grand stage of life – the crone, the wise woman. It’s a gradual process and the symptoms leading up to it can last for years. Be judicious as you treat the symptoms and keep your whole body in mind as you do – there’s no part that isn’t affected by hormones and any treatment you try. The good news is, you get through it. The other side ain’t so bad, either.

    • ‘Suffer in silence’. Yeah, not this chicky. I guess it comes down to always thinking that this time of my life means the end of being a ‘woman’. I know it’s not true, and I think society is slowly coming around to that notion, but I think as the Baby Boomers get older, that way of thinking will change.

  2. Sage says:

    Two Words – Black Cohosh. I rarely suffer from hot flashes since I’ve been taking these pills. And I’m older than you by 3 years. I’ve actually had people ask if I was in my late 20’s. Seriously, I don’t want see those years again. 😉 And age is just a number. Oh the link goes to Amazon.


  3. I was lucky when I entered menopause, I think my hot flashes lasted all of three weeks and then I was fine. Aside from my hair looking like the coat of wire-haired terrier, I’ve seen no other side effects. And I was quite glad to put periods behind me.

    50 is definitely the new 30. I never felt my age. Even now as I lug 60 pound bales of hay or shovel mountains of dirt, it’s hard to imagine I’m as old as I am. I had some serious misconceptions about old age when I was young and naive.

    • My aunt went through it at the same time as she was on meds after her cancer treatment. What she thought was side-effects from the meds was actually the symptoms. 😀

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